Dear Mom:
Sorry for being too selfish. Sorry for not giving you the utmost joy a mother could experience this graduation. Sorry for disappointing you this time. I fail you! I was not able to met your expectation even though you did not ask for it. Mom, I sincerely apologize because I know you did your part as a parent and exerted so much effort just to send me to this prestigious university. But all I did was to chill and jerk around.
Still, mom I want you to be proud of me like the good all days when you always get tired of going to stage with me to receive ribbons and medals. Mom, this time though I don't have any award to receive in my graduation day I still want you to be there watching me as I cross the four pillars. I want you to know that you're my biggest treasure and award. Just with you're presence, I don't care anymore if I ain't got those fuckin' laude and distinction. Mom, you're always the best consolation for me.
If I could only shout in front of thousand heads on the 24th to tell them I have you at this very moment, I surely will. Mom, if I could only turn back time to redeem my grades, i will be very willing to go back. But you know i can't. Mom though I fail you, I also want you to know that you never fail me. You're the biggest inspiration why I still push for college and graduate this March with a happy heart.
Mom, on the 24th even though you will not be able to walk beside me on the stage, I will rise and walk very very proudly because my mother is down stage still supporting her little boy. I love you Mom! :'))
Lovingly yours,
Nunu
P.S.
this goes also to my family and relatives, love lots guys!
Four days remaining and my college years will be over. I can't imagine how the four years have gone so fast. My jar of memories isn't full yet. Wish i could have done more and experience things which i think would help me as a person. Indeed, regrets and disappointments hovers above my psyche and i couldn't comprehend my thoughts now. It's been four years and i think i haven't done much big for my self and for everyone. *Hell yeah* Nothing else to do about it, only four days remaining and of course it's not enough to fill up that four long years. I'll just go straight and let happy thoughts flow and enjoy this very moment with people i endear most.
let me share this life and let me fly high, i'll show you why Nico deserves your smile. :'))
- Not everyone has to listen to me.
- Not everyone has to stay with me.
- No one has the obligation to obey me.
- No one needs to please me.
- and that … “He, she, and you” are not me.
I guess this is the right time to start eliminating my not so good attitudes; being obnoxious, arrogant, egocentric, self-centered, eccentric, egocentric, egoistic, ego-maniacal, egotistic, egotistical, grandstanding, having a swelled head, inward-looking, know-it-all*, narcissistic, on an ego tripper, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-interested, self-involved, selfish, self-seeking, self-serving, self-sufficient, stuck on oneself, anti-social, wrapped up with oneself and many more...
What do you think?!
Kung Ibig Mo Akong Makilalani: Juan Nicolas
Kung ibig mo akong makilala,
tumbasan mo ang galit sa aking mga mata,
ang titig kong mapanghusga –
dumadaloy nang pailalim sa bawat agos
ng kahapon ko’t bukas.
Kung ibig mo akong makilala
sisirin mo ako sa dagat na malalim
at sa kahariang nilimot ng daigdig,
iahon mo ako at saka tuluyang palayain.
Isang pag-ibig na minabuting itago,
sa lugar na malaya sa takot at sumbat
may dalang tuwa't nag-iisang pangarap –
ianod mo lahat papalapit sa akin
kung nais mo ako’t ibig kilalanin.
Kung ibig mo akong kilalanin,
haplosin mo ako hanggang buto,
lunurin mo ako hanggang utak,
lumangoy ka hanggang kaluluwa –
hubad ako roon: mula ulo hanggang paa.
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Inspired from "Kung Ibig Mo Akong Makilala" by Ruth Elynia S. Mabanglo
"I don't like to be labeled as lonely or bitter just because I am single.” It’s a totally different story. Someone close to me once asked “ Hindi ka ba nalulungkot na single ka pa rin? matatapos na ang college! I just smiled and said “Nooo!.”
Going back to the question, hindi nga ba ako nalulungkot dahil single ako. Seriously? Does the question really makes sense? Oo? Hindi o Pwede? O sige pwede mag explain nalang?
Sa palagay ko hindi tama ang tanong. Mas tama ata kung tinanong niya ako ng “Bakit single ka pa rin?” Hindi ba merong mga nasa relationship na malulungkot? 79% ng mga in a relationship malungkot, saan galing ang statistics ko? Wala naisip ko lang. LOL
I’m in my adolescent stage, according to Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory I’m in the stage of love: intimacy vs. isolation. Oo inaamin ko meron akong heart-breaking and unclosed past love experience kaya siguro ako nasa isolation stage ngayon; being single.
Pero bakit ko naman pipilitin ang sarili ko to be in a relationship just to be “in” or "happy"? I don’t understand why people try to desperately fall in love just to be in a relationship. I guess I’m completely different, you know, just trying to make a good living, first things first and trying to find the right girl, ayaw ko naman ng kung sino sino na lang. I want her to be the one and the best one for me.
Love has its seasons, ika nga panapanahon lang, ngayon masaya kayo, bukas mas masaya kayo, sa isang bukas hindi na kayo masaya, sa isa pang bukas umiiyak ka na. At ang pag pasok sa isang relasyon ay isang malaking responsibilidad, it’s not a game na pwede ka mag times up pag pagod kana at aayaw kasi gumagabi na. Yung iba just go with it nag lalaro lang, hindi ko gusto yun. Dahil siguro I’m a victim of it ayaw ko iparanas sa iba yung tinatawag na heartbroken for a thousand years and still hoping blah blah blah.
Sa palagay ko hindi pa rin ako handa sa responsibility na iyon. My priority now is studies, parang ganito lang yan, magsusuot ka ba ng cocktail dress or coat & tie kung hindi ka naman mag-aattend ng debut? kung pupunta ka lang sa school at mag aaral? Isa pa hindi naman ako pwedeng humuli ng dalawang manok ng sabay. Kapag ginawa ko yun, I’ll lose on both. Ang ibig kong sabihin kung ano ang priority ko, I’ll be just good at it. For now school and career, pag love na ang priority ko, I’ll love her 101%.
Gusto kong sumagot ulit sa kaibigan kong nagtanong. Smile lang ulit then sagot ng “Nooo!”. Marami pang rason para maging masaya ang isang tao. Hindi lang din naman pag-ibig ang nagpapaikot ng mundo. Teka baka na misunderstood niyo na ako. I still want to date girls, trying to find the right girl nga ehhh!!!!
Walang labing nagnais ng kapeng poot tamis,
Walang dila ang nag-asam ng haring lubos pait,
Walang paglasap ang mapaso’y panalangin,
Walang paghigop na hiling ay lamig.
Lahat ay nakatikim ng kapeng timpla ng langit.
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Kung iintindihin ang bawat bitaw ng salita,
Ang kulay itim tuluyang mabubuksan ang diwa.
